What would you do if you thought you had 6 months to live? Where would your life take you?

What are the things that matter? When you are lying on your deathbed how will you be remembered? Is that even important? Is it more important that you have some great memories to reflect on? Will I remember my trip to Bali when I was 21 or travels in Cambodia, Vietnam and Laos? What matters?
One thing I am fairly certain doesn't matter, is how hard you worked. At least not without a result for your efforts. Living a life that attempts to please others doesn't work either. Which isn't the same thing as not helping others. If I was told that I would die in 6 months time, how would I live? What would I do?
Brain storming time. I'd break the news to friends and family. I would have many celebratory dinners and drinks. I'd spend the 1st week making plans. This is one of those weird illnesses that kills you but has no other side effects. So there are no limits to what you can do prior to death. You just know the time. I'd resign from work immediately.
Just as important as what you would do with the time left is which things do you do now that you would keep doing if your time was limited. I would keep sleeping each night. I would take my wife with me for the time I have left. I would go to the footy a couple of times and see my beloved Rabbitohs. I would try to see a test match featuring the Aussies. Maybe I could find one overseas if I couldn't wait until the summer. I would spend a month in Thailand. I would get my finances in order. Sell my unit. Maybe buy my wife a home in Chiang Mai with some of the money and use the rest for my final adventure. But what would that adventure be? I think I know. I have long wanted to travel overland from London to Sydney going via Moscow and Beijing, through Vietnam , Laos, Cambodia and into Vietnam. I think I would like another visit to Bali. Maybe head up through Burma and into India and Nepal. Check out the Himalayas. Seek the inner peace of the hippie generation.
Here is the back flip. I get home from my trip and tell friends and family all about my amazing trip. And then I head off to the Doctor. He tells me that they have found a cure. I will live for another 30 years. I jump for joy and then my life has to start again. Find work? I could do it. Maybe back at the same company I left, as a casual chef. I could work in other Hospitality jobs. It wouldn't be that hard to rebuild. I would have my house in northern Thailand and I could resume my Cricket umpiring. A bit of time off might give perspective, might improve me. Whilst I travelled the world I would have continued my blog, and who knows, the jabbering of a nomad might generate enough interest to monetise this thing. I know I would have great photos to share and what could be more interesting than the thoughts that come to mind as your train winds through Russia on the Trans Siberian railroad, or as you catch a ferry on the Mekong. Life can be so much more. What holds us back. Fear of not being able to climb back to where we are now? Fear of the judgements of others? Thinking right now, those seem to be the ones. We can always find excuses to do less living. But Why? Why do we not chase bigger lives and bigger dreams? Chase your dreams not your fears. I might be brave enough to live it one day.

Meditation

Another day where I am commencing typing but have no idea where my post is headed. That can't be a good thing. Can it? So far I have failed to monetise my blog. I have applied twice to adsense but have been rejected due to lack of content. I guess I will keep blogging and apply every time I get another 1000 visits to the blog. I achieved my 1000th view last week. It took about 9 months. Consistent posts, week after week. The more I do the better I will get.

I do feel lately that I am just starting to find my direction with the blog. I started out and was going to post recipes and make a cookbook from those recipes. Dreams are good aren't they? I was also going write about the different areas of my life and personal development in each area. Things like my cricket umpiring and cooking and work, life balance. I think I am still headed in that direction but have been enjoying doing restaurant reviews. I don't feel that it is right for me to write negative reviews, at least not at this stage. So, if I go out to dinner and don't enjoy the meal or find it nothing to get excited about, I will just not post about it. I don't need to add more negativity to the world, there are plenty of people in the mainstream media covering negativity. Also, as a chef I understand that you have bad days or delivery issues. They definitely don't need some random customer exposing them to the world. I'm not a current affairs show. I am not here to belittle or point out the errors of others. I have enough trouble overcoming my own.

I read yesterday via a post on Facebook that a junior Rugby League referee at a match in Southern Sydney had been punched by an angry father after removing his son from the game for kicking someone. Obviously that kind of behaviour is abhorrent and needs to be stamped out in junior sport. Many have been guilty of getting too involved in our sports as supporters or parents and when we do find our emotions getting the better of us we need to take a breath and think about our actions. It is probably applicable to all areas of life. If you find yourself getting worked up, the blood is beginning to boil, walk away. Release the pressure. Life is about enjoying ourselves and passing that enjoyment onto those with whom we come into contact.

I have been guilty many times with getting carried away whilst watching the footy or the cricket or feeling pressure at work. You don't get any benefit out of stressing. I would often try to tell myself that stress created nothing but bad results. But, intellectually knowing the answer is not often a solution. Logic and poor behaviour don't often go hand in hand. I recall reading years ago, in a Biography of Muhammad Ali, that he said he turned his life around by asking himself the question "would I do this if my mother was watching?" Interesting thought that may work for some.

Something else that I have been attempting for a few years now is morning meditation. In recent months I feel I have made significant progress by using the Headspace app on my phone. This provides me with usually 10 or 15 minute guided meditations. There is an initial beginners section which covers the basics called take 10 and from there you can do a range of meditations to guide you with various areas of your life. Examples include Anxiety, Stress, Low self esteem, Appreciation, Focus, Balance to name just a few. Anyone out there needing something to help break up life's challenges, I would highly recommend meditation in some form.

Meditation is all about gaining awareness of your actions and thoughts. Instead of just going through life on auto pilot, jump off the train for 10 or 15 minutes. Listen to what is going on inside you and start to control your personal ship again. Too often our lives are running us instead of the other way around. Part of the reason I am currently searching for some changes to my work, life balance is because I want to spend more time doing what I want to do and less time allowing the paying of bills to be a lifetime priority. I think I will continue this tomorrow but for now I will leave you with a thought based loosely around some of Robin Sharma's teachings.

When you are lying on your deathbed and looking back at your life which moments will jump off the page? Which parts will you remember? I'm sure I won't be wishing I did a bit of extra overtime.

Restaurant review - Leaf in Berry - Berry

In search of a Thai meal for lunch in Berry on a long weekend we headed to the old post office building to try out Leaf in Berry. The servings were large and the options plentiful. Will be back to try some of the other dishes next time we are on the South Coast.

We chose to sit out in the courtyard which was nice and sunny even though it was the June long weekend. As with all good Thai restaurants water was brought to the table on arrival and I decided to make the experience authentic with a Singha beer to start. It was nice and cold and hit the spot. Just what you need when relaxing on a south coast weekend.

We started with an Entree called Pang na moo. This translates as pork toast, a description that doesn't do much to provide a picture. It is at it's core a piece of bread with a spiced pork mince mixture spread on top deep fried and served with a dipping sauce. It was a really good start to the meal as well as being an example of the depth of the menu at Leaf.

For our main meal we ordered 2 dishes which we shared. We had the Pork with Garlic and Oyster Sauce. The dish came with rice.This dish was pleasant enough, good sized portion with plenty of fresh vegetables and good flavour.

The Standout dish of the lunch was the Pad Kee Mao with Chicken. Pad Kee Mao or Drunken Noodles is a hot Thai flat noodle stir fried with chilli and herbs. It was a generous serve, but better than that was full of flavour. It had just the right amount of chilli, you knew it was there but it didn't overwhelm the other flavours of the dish.






We had a very enjoyable lunch and will be making a return visit next time we are in town. It was great to see a Thai restaurant that is happy to get away from the standard Thai suburban menu. If you feel like checking it out you will find them at 137 Queen Street, Berry, NSW

Bali 1994 : Travels to open your eyes to the world

As the brief at the top of the page says I am a chef. I came to cooking later than many professionals. As I recall the interest in cooking started for me after returning from my first trip to Bali when I was 21 years old. I had gone to Bali for 3 weeks with one of my elder brothers, Matt. The trip was amazing, we had booked nothing but the return airfare and he had been told to head in the direction of Poppies lane 2, which was right in the heart of the Kuta Beach area. So that is exactly what we did. That was the entirety of our plans. We spent our days heading to the beach for a surf and in the afternoon and evenings we found the restaurant playing a movie we liked and chose to eat there and wash it down with a Bintang or two. I am now 42, so I guess that means it was half my life ago. Allowing for that I can still remember that first walk through town. It will stay with me forever ( I hope).

Originally Matt was supposed to be going to Bali with a friend from University, but his unreliable friend withdrew at the last minute. I was on leave from TAFE where I was studying for my associate diploma of Business (accounting). I was living at home and had some money in the bank so when Matt's mate pulled out he asked if I wanted to go. I don't remember my response but I had a current passport from a week's holiday to Fiji 2 or 3 years earlier so I can't imagine that I was anything but excited to get to try out a new country. So that is what we did. Matt had never been overseas before and I had my week in Fiji so we were pretty raw when it came to travel experience.

Let's get back to that first day. I recall getting off the plane and walking out the front of Denpasar airport to be met by hawkers calling out "you want taxi?". We approached one guy and told him we wanted to go to Poppies Lane 2. He replied that he had a great place, not that far from there and we should go with him. Matt, if I recall correctly, told the guy that we were happy to go with him and check it out but if we didn't like it we could still say "thanks but no thanks". He agreed and so we went. As it turned out, the place looked okay and was a bit of a walk into the main part of Kuta but we said we would stay. I think it was only that first night, maybe one or two more.

Getting off a plane in Denpasar back then was like arriving in another world for 2 young guys like us. It was major culture shock. As I said I had been to Fiji previously, but that just didn't cut it when it comes to culture shock. Fijians are possible the friendliest and most laid back people on earth. They don't put pressure on you for anything. It was the most, and I believe still is the most chilled out place on earth. So absolutely no preparation at all for a first glimpse of Asia. The hustle and bustle, the touting, the constant calls to buy whatever it was they were selling. It was amazing and I think within a very short space of time we were hooked and loving every minute.

We had a look at the room and agreed to stay. We had a banana jaffle lined up for breakie. We put the bags in the room and headed off to explore Kuta Beach. We walked along the beach and then turned the corner and began the walk down Legian Street, Kuta, Bali. Wow. We were in for a shock. Everywhere we looked we got the "you like? Come in , have a look. You try? you buy? good price for me, good price for you?" We made our way along the street, obviously looking like 2 young guys fresh off a plane. The shop owners spotted us from miles away. They know how to spot new kids on the block and were willing to sell us everything they could. I don't recall what purchases we made that day but I do remember that about halfway along we saw a familiar site. The big M of McDonalds and headed there for some relief in something we knew. We grabbed some familiar food for lunch and an hour later we stopped into a pub and grabbed a VB again to get our hands on something we knew to relieve the onslaught of this strange land. Don't get me wrong, I don't want you to thing we were attempting relocate Australia to another location. That wasn't our objective. We were just overwhelmed. I don't mean that in a bad way, it was one of the stand out, most memorable days of my life.



It all flowed from there. 3 weeks of going on instinct. We would head to beach and swim, catch some sun, get a massage some days. This was followed by lunch and then some more walking through the shops. I didn't mention earlier on, we went to Bali with only carry on luggage, just a small backpack each. Matt may have had a surfboard as well. When we ran out of clothes we bought more. When there were too many that they didn't fit in the bag, we went and bought a new backpack. We talked with other travellers in the bars, mainly Tubes, the Sari Club and Patty's Bar. Of course the Sari Club and Patty's Bar were the scene of those horrific attacks 8 years later. We I saw those places on my TV on that Sunday morning those years later I really felt the pain and vowed to get back there as soon as I could. I returned 11 months after the bombing for another awesome couple of weeks.

Getting back on track. We talked with others in the bars at night and found out where we should be going and that's where we went. We went to Nusa Lembongan island for a few days. We slept on the simple beds down at Uluwatu. We also headed to the cultural centre of Bali in Ubud. It's been so many years that I don't remember all the details now but it was amazing. I think the thing that grabbed me most of all was just being so free. Freedom from worry, freedom from ego, freedom to go where you heart and mind take you. Wake up and decide how you'll live the day ahead. It's a feeling you'd love to carry into everyday of your life but rarely do. Life doesn't seem to allow us that much freedom all that often.

Our food choices throughout were fairly simple. Usually we ate Nasi Goreng (Indonesian fried rice) which was served with a fried egg on top. When I returned home some of my earliest food challenges were attempts to recreate that fried rice. I bought a book on Balinese food and attempted to cook. There were plenty of mistakes and plenty of food heading to a garbage bin. Eventually I did create something edible.  

I know at the start I said I was going to write about where my cooking began. I got lost in the memory of a holiday that changed the way I interact with the world everyday of my life. I wish I could pack everything up and travel and I owe that in a massive way to those amazing 3 weeks with my brother in one of the most beautiful places on earth.

The Cricket Umpire's Off-Season

About 4 months until a new cricket season. Outside it's cold and wet and definitely not cricket season. It must be time to plan an assault on the summer ahead. Last season was my first in grade cricket here in Sydney. My focus was on learning. Take advantage of every education session available and try to increase my knowledge of what makes a better umpire. I feel that I achieved that goal. At times during the season I had patches where I saw real improvements and good foundations for becoming the best umpire that I can be. In between those there were some backward steps as well.

Late in the season I thought I had really hit on something in the way I was watching the ball. I was focussing on softening my vision. I was telling myself not to stare too hard at the ball. By softening my vision I was seeing the ball more clearly than ever before. I strung together 3 weeks of umpiring that had me feeling that I was on my way to success, at least in that area of the game.

This was followed by an ugly Saturday afternoon where I couldn't take a trick. Every small edge I didn't see or hear. The LBW shouts all seemed to be bat and pad together somewhere around that off stump, maybe just outside. In the end I lost the confidence of the fielding team and walked away feeling gutted. What caused this relapse in form? It was a bright sunny day and so I chose to wear my slightly darker sunglasses. This I believe was the root cause of most of my problems. I hope that's what it was.

The other problem for me throughout the season was a simple lack of self belief. That's a theme in many areas of my life. I know from past experience that I will be improved in that area in my second season just be feeling more natural in the surroundings.

So, where is my year 2 focus going to be? I will again be doing the laws course to strengthen my knowledge of laws of cricket. The playing conditions will again be given the focus that they need. My first year in grade has shown me that these 2 areas are where I believe I can out point almost every other umpire in the grade ranks. It is a simple matter of spending time. Hours and hours of it. Read, summarise, read again.

The other thing that I am intending to do is to attend net sessions of the 2 local clubs in my area to get practical experience of umpiring. I have shied away from it in the past because it felt a bit weird. I feel uncomfortable heading to a net session to practice umpiring. This is in spite of the comments I have heard from senior umpires that the players appreciate the efforts made by umpires to improve themselves. It's probably just my ego acting up. I think to head to a net session once a week can make a significant difference to my match day performance. Lets face it, I wouldn't go out to bat and expect to be confident and successful if I hadn't been to practice, so why do I expect to become a better umpire without actually practising the skills involved.

Another couple of things I would like to try are getting together with a few similar level umpires once a month over a beer to talk about what issues we are having collectively and seeing if 2 or 3 or 4 heads are better than 1. There are a couple of guys who I will be approaching to see if they are interested.

The final piece to the puzzle is to find myself a mentor. Someone who I can go to for advise. An experienced umpire whose brain I can pick. Basically I think I am looking for a coach. The great thing about umpiring is that there are plenty of experienced guys who you can turn to in this department. Guys who have been umpiring for 10 or 15 years are not that hard to find. I am on the lookout for an umpiring guru to guide me. The umpiring equivalent of Yoda. If you are reading this umpiring Yoda, don't be shy, get in touch.

So that's where I am going to leave it for today. Thanks for reading and I'll see you on the cricket fields of Sydney before too long.